स्वगुणपरीक्षानाम — समास 4: स्वगुणपरीक्षा (क)

लेंकुरें उदंड जालीं ॥ तों ते लक्ष्मी निघोन गेली । बापडीं भिकेसी लागलीं । कांहीं खाया मिळेना ॥ १ ॥

मुलें पुष्कळ झाली. त्यामुळे खर्च वाढला. साठवून ठेवलेला पैसा संपला. खायला मिळेना त्यामुळे मुले भिकेस लागली.

When that vast paramatma became the `many' children then, narayana and His lakshmi left (when you entertain the `many' thoughts like, "My children etc." then, that detached purush/narayan and prakruti/lakshmi cannot remain). Due to objectivity, that paramatma became these poor and miserable bodies and they had to beg, because this divine `food' of the `all' could not be found (our own natural bliss or divine `food' gets covered over with body consciousness and `many' thoughts). (maharaj everyone is a beggar....you beg for happiness from everything.)

लेंकुरें खेळती धाकुटीं । येके रांगती येकें पोटीं । ऐसी घरभरी जाली दाटी । कन्या आणी पुत्रांची ॥ २ ॥

कांही कडेवर, कांही रांगताहेत अशी ती सर्व घरांत खेळु लागल्याने घरांत मुली आणी मुलांची गर्दी झाली.

Within this `I am' understanding, that One played as the young children. That One crawled and that One was in the womb (that One assumed these `many' forms). And thus the house became crowded with daughters and sons (your house is now your mind filled with many imagined relationships and pleasures and pains).20

दिवसेदिवस खर्च वाढला । यावा होता तो खुंटोन गेला । कन्या उपवरी जाल्या त्यांला । उजवावया द्रव्य नाहीं ॥ ३ ॥

दिवसेंदिवस खर्च वाढला. पैसा येणे बंद पडले. मुली लग्गाच्या झाल्या पण त्यांचे लग्न करावयास पैसा नाही.

Day after day, expenditure increased so much and the courage and power of that purush was arrested (this `all' asks for nothing; `Let whatever will come, come.' But when it starts worrying and begging, "Give me this and that" then, that purush loses its power and there is the very limited power of the jiva and the `many' troubles of samsar). The daughters were of marrying age but that purush had no wealth to marry them properly.

मायेबापें होतीं संपन्न । त्यांचे उदंड होते धन । तेणें करितां प्रतिष्ठा मान । जनीं जाला होता ॥ ४ ॥

आई-वडिल संपन्न होते. त्यांनी बराच धनाचा साठा केला होता. त्यामुळें लोकंत मान व प्रतिष्ठा मिळत होती.

His mother and father (mula prakruti and purush) were wealthy, but their wealth was that vast paramatma. It was due to them that he was respected and honoured,22 but he had come and stayed with the people (but this prakruti/purush had been abandoned by him for body consciousness).

भरम आहे लोकाचारीं । पहिली नांदणूक नाहीं घरीं । दिवसेदिवस अभ्यांतरीं । दरिद्र आलें ॥ ५ ॥

लोकांशी वागतांना पूर्वींच्या श्रीमंतीचा भ्रम मनांत ठेवून होता. परंतु पूर्वीं सारखी सुबत्ता राहिली नाही. घरांत दारिद्र्य येत होते.

However the conduct of this gross world is based on surmise and misconceptions and though originally he had not stayed in this house (of the body/mind), gradually this kowledge within, became this poor and miserable condition brought about by objectivity.

ऐसी घरवात वाढली । खाती तोंडें मिळालीं । तेणेम प्राणीयास लागली । काळजी उद्वेगाची ॥ ६ ॥

अशा रीतीने प्रपंच वाढला. खाणारी तोंडे वाढली. त्यामुळे त्याला काळजी लागली व (सर्वांना खायला पैसा कमी असल्याने कोठून आणायचे ) दःख होऊ लागले.

Then there was so many children and so much house-work to do ("I must do this and I must do that") and they all came together to eat with their mouths (taking our selves to be the body, we say, "I eat" and then we cannot taste this food of `I am' and understand `He does everything'). Due to this objectification, that One paramatma got established within the prana and there was much disquiet and anxiety (when that Self accepts the breath as its own then, it takes the body as its own).

कन्या उपवरी जाल्या । पुत्रांस नोवर्‍या आल्या । आतां उजवणा केल्या । पाहिजेत कीं ॥ ७ ॥

मुलींचे लग्नाचे वय झाले. मुलांनाही नवर्‍या सांगुन येऊ लागल्या. यांची लग्ने केली पाहिजेत.

The daughters were of marrying age and the sons had brought their wives (and just like the world outside, conflicts within the house were sure to arise). How can there `now' be a proper and honourable conclusion to this miserable condition? (When one lives as a human being in this world of our own imagination then, how can one be that purush enjoying the glories of His prakruti?)

जरी मुलें तैंसींच राहिलीं । तरी पुन्हा लोकलाज जाली । म्हणती कासया व्यालीं । जन्मदारिद्र्यें ॥ ८ ॥

जर मुलांना लग्नाशिवाय ठेविले तर लोकांत लाज जाईल व ते म्हटतील की घरांत दारिद्र होते तर जन्मास कां घातली?

If the children remain unmarried, then they will be laughed at by society and they will feel ashamed and say, "Why have we taken this miserable birth?" (The children feel shame and miserable due to body consciousness and, "What will the people think of me?" etc., but Knowledge feels no shame) (maharaj- you worry about what the world will say)

ऐसी लोकलाज होईल । वडिलांचे नांव जाईल । आतां रुण कोण देइल । लग्नापुरतें ॥ ९ ॥

अशा रीतीने लोक लाज जाईल व वडिलांचे नांवही जाईल. लग्नांपुरते तरी आतां कोण कर्ज देईल?

Worried that the good name of the family would be spoiled and ashamed of what the world might think, now this `all' will have to carry the debts for all these marriages (our own thoughts spoil our natural bliss and when one thinks, "I do" then, one is trapped in this cycle of actions and their results ie. such is the debt we have to pay).

मागें रुण ज्याचें घेतलें । त्याचें परतोन नाहीं दिल्हें । ऐसें आभाळ कोंसळलें । उद्वेगाचें ॥ १० ॥

मागे ज्यांच्याकडून कर्ज घेतले त्यांचे अजून परत दिले नाही. अशा रीतीने दुःखाचे मोठे आभाळच कोसळले.

This debt ("I am a body") had been previously accepted by that atma purush and it had never been repaid (he had taken himself to be a body and there had been no vivek and though this `I am He' understanding was realised, he had given it away for the desires of his mind and returned to live as a body) and therefore this great misfortune of samsar had befallen that atma purush (He does not know His own true wealth/prakruti and taking on this debt with its ever increasing interest, how will he ever pay it back?).

आपण खातों अन्नासी । अन्न खातें आपणासीं । सर्वकाळ मानसीं । चिंतातुर ॥ ११ ॥

आपण अन्न खातो, पण कधीकधी तेच खाल्लेले अन्न अंगी लागत नाही. तशीच त्याची अवस्था झाली. कारण तो दुःखाने, काळजीने ग्रस्त झाला होता.

Either you consume this `food' or this `food' consumes you (either you become a body and destroy this `I am' or you are He; either you understand `I am' or you continue to think "I am a body", but two swords cannot stay in the one sheath). If you consume this `food' then this time of the `all' is oppressed with anxiety.

पती अवघीच मोडली । वस्तभाव गाहाण पडली । अहा देवा वेळ आली । आतां डिवाळ्याची ॥ १२ ॥

आता पत राहीली नाही. म्हणजे लोक विचारीत नाहिसे झाले. घरांती चीज वस्तु गहाण पडली. त्यामुळे तो ' देवा दिवाळे काढण्याची वेळ आली ' असे म्हणु लागला.

When that Lord and Master stays in the mind then, He gets broken into many parts and gets pawned out for these needless things of this gross world. And so God becomes insolvent in these times of the `many' thoughts (that purush gave up His wealth and became a jiva and as a jiva he had to borrow from his own wealth ie. this knowledge. The jiva uses knowledge but does not understand; while shiva/God uses His knowledge with understanding).

कांहीं केला ताडामोडा । विकिला घरींचा पाडारेडा । कांहीं पैका रोकडा । कळांतरें काढिला ॥ १३ ॥

मग काही घरांतील वस्तु विकल्या. जनावरें विकली. व्याजाने काहीं पैसा कर्जाने घेतला.

Then this knowledge got broken up and sold off and the buffalo (ie. gross body) of the house was passed off as worthy of selling (the gross body was considered as valuable).23 This knowledge of the ever-present `I am' expanded into `many' objects because this art of knowing multiplied into `many' thoughts.

ऐसें रुण घेतलें । लोकिकीं दंभ केलें । सकळ म्हणती नांव राखिलें । वडिलांचें ॥ १४ ॥

अशा रीतीने कर्ज घेतले. लोकांत खोटा मोठेपणा मिरवला. सगळे लोक म्हणु लागले की वडिलांचे नांव राखले.

Such was the debt he had incurred to marry his daughters but it was all for an out- ward show (maharaj- you will not give a penny to a beggar but you will give thousands of pounds for a hospital if your name gets hung above it). Then he said, "The name of our father has been protected." (But this real `name' had not been protected at all, it had been lost in this feeling, "I am a body, I have an ancestry and duty and a position to uphold etc. etc.")

ऐसें रुण उदंड जालें । रिणाइतीं वेढून घेतलें । मग प्रयाण आरंभिलें । विदेशाप्रती ॥ १५ ॥

अशा रीतीने पुष्कळ कर्ज झाले. कर्ज देणार्‍यांनी त्याला वेढून घेतले. मग ह्याने विदेशी प्रयाण करण्याचे ठरविले.

In this way, that vast paramatma had taken on these debts and then its creditors (ie. ego, mind etc.) came and took over complete possession of His wealth. Therefore he set out on a journey to that state beyond (the sufferings of this world takes one to the feet of the Master and He tells you, `You are not the body').

दोनी वरुषें बुडी मारिली । नीच सेवा अंगीकारिली । शरीरें आपदा भोगिली । अतिशयेंसीं ॥ १६ ॥

दोन वर्षे परदेशी राहेला. नीच लोकांची चाकरी केली. शरीर यातना फार भोगल्या.

Within this prakruti/purush there are the `many' divisions and in these `many' divisions this understanding of knowledge remains unnoticed. Then that constant and continuous purush accepted the duties of a servant and this `all' body/prakruti had to endure so much distress.

कांहीं मेळविलें विदेशीं । जीव लागला मनुष्यांपासीं । मग पुसोनियां स्वामीसी । मुरडत जाला ॥ १७ ॥

कांहीं पैसा परदेशी मिळविला. मग घरच्या माणसांची त्यांच्या ओढीने आठवण झाली. मग धन्याची परवानगी काढून घरी जाण्यास निघाला.

In that state beyond, this knowledge was acquired. But for the one who becomes the jiva in this world, there is the attachment of being a man. But then he forgot all this that he had learned from his Master and returned to the place he knew (ie. to being a body in a world full of `many' objects).

तव तें अत्यंत पीडावलीं । वाट पाहात बैसलीं । म्हणती दिवसगती कां लागली । काये करणें देवा ॥ १८ ॥

घरी आल्यावर त्याने बघितले की त्याची माणसे अति कष्टी झाली होती. ती त्याची वाट पाहात होती. देवाला साद घालत होती व विचारत होती की 'त्याला यावयास एवढा उशीर कां झाला?'

That Reality had been made to worry so much as it sat idly waiting and watching for the return of its father. That One said, "Why is he taking so long? Oh God, what has happened to him?" (Taking its Self to be a body, that Reality worries and waits and prays to God. That Reality has become completely dependent upon another) (maharaj- if a husband is late home, the wife worries, "Oh God, I wonder what has happened to him?" She does not think, "Maybe he has become the prime minister")

आतां आम्हीं कायें खावें । किती उपवासीं मरावें । ऐसियाचे संगतीस देवें । कां पां घातलें आम्हांसी ॥ १९ ॥

आम्ही काय खायचे-प्यायचे कां आम्ही उपवास घडून मरावें? अशा माणसाशी दैवाने आमची कां गांठ घातली?

Then it says, "Now what should we eat? We may starve to death. Why has God put us in such company?" (When there is no vivek then, that One is confined to a body in this mundane existence with endless worries and it even starts blaming God for its condition)

ऐसें आपुलें सुख पाहाती । परी त्याचें दुःख नेणती । आणी शक्ती गेलियां अंतीं । कोणीच कामा न येती ॥ २० ॥

अशा रीतीने आपल्याच सुखाचा विचार ती करत होती. पण त्याच्या कष्टाचा, दुःखाचा विचार करत नव्हती. एकदा कां शक्ती क्षीण झाली की कोणी उपयोगी पडत नाही.

It had been seeking only its own happiness. But then it did not know the suffering of this `all'. And in the end, when this power is gone, none can come to help you (for such is the way of the world; therefore while the power is still there, know thyself!).

असो ऐसी वाट पाहतां । दृष्टीं देखिला अवचिता । मुलें धावती ताता । भागलास म्हणौनी ॥ २१ ॥

अशा प्रकारें वाट पाहात असतां अचानक हा दृष्टीस पडला. मुलें धांवतधांवत येऊन म्हणु लागली बाबा-बाबा तुम्ही किती दमलात.

This is the way it is if you sit idly and wait and watch! (Taking yourself as a body and not using vivek, puts you at the mercy of destiny) Then suddenly they caught sight of their father and the children came running saying, `Daddy, daddy', to that exhausted and divided (he had left his understanding and there was the mind tired and confused, not that undivided `state beyond'. When this understanding is left behind then, there appears the `many' forms of my body, my wife and children etc.).

स्त्री देखोन आनंदली । म्हणे आमची दैन्य फिटली । तंव येरें दिधली । गांठोडी हातीं ॥ २२ ॥

बायको ह्याला बघुन खुष झाली. आता आमचे दैन्य फिटले असे म्हणु लागली. मग याने तीच्या हातांत दोन गाठोडी दिली.

When that One had perceived his wife/prakruti, there had been bliss. But when prakruti feels, "Our poverty has been removed" then, at that time, his wife and the `many' children get given this `bundle'/knowledge into their hands (In truth, He is the purush and His consort is prakruti and that is understood when he goes to this state beyond. But He is her consort and He has to go wherever she chooses to go and the very instant that mula maya takes herself as a women and feels she was poor or she will be rich etc. then, that witnessing purush feels, "I am a husband" and assumes body consciousness and sees a wife and his children and `many' objects and then His own natural bliss gets spoiled in samsar. All these concepts had been left off and everything was gathered together into this `bundle' or the `all' of prakruti, but when this is forgotten then it gets placed in the `many' hands of a wife and children and they open it out into an objective world of pleasure and pain).

सकळांस आनंद जाला । म्हणती आमुचा वडील आला । तेणें तरी आम्हांला । आग्यां टोप्या आणिल्या ॥ २३ ॥

सगळ्यांना आनंद झाला व ते म्हणु लागले आमचा बाबा आला. त्याने आम्हाला कपडे, टोप्या आणल्या.

There had been this bliss of the `all' but when that One (in the form of a child) said, "Our father has come," then due to this "our", a covering was placed over this `all' body (He had been understanding this `all' but then the attachment of being a father arose in Him when his child said "Our father has come." And then a mind full of attachments and endless worries appeared and covered over this understanding `I am').

ऐसा आनंद चारी दिवस । सवेंच मांडिला कुसमुस । म्हणती हें गेलियां आम्हांस । पुन्हा आपदा लागती ॥ २४ ॥

असा चार दिवस आनंद केला. पुढें कुरबुर सुरु झाली. सर्व म्हणु लागले हा गेल्यावर पुन्हा आमचे हाल सुरु होणार.

This bliss of `I am' is within this life of only four days (ie. we spend our precious life in thoughts of yesterday or some other day that has gone or thoughts of tomorrow or some other day that is to come, but we spend no time in the bliss of `now') but of its own accord, that One started grumbling out loud (ie. left this bliss and returned to this gross conviction). Then that One (who had assumed the role of a father) said, "Everytime that thoughtless Self goes away we again become distressed."

म्हणौनी आणिलें तें असावें । येणें मागुतें विदेशास जावें । आम्ही हें खाऊं न तों यावें । द्रव्य मेळऊन ॥ २५ ॥

ते म्हणु लागले आणलेले सर्व येथेच ठेवून परत याने परदेशी जावे. आम्ही आत्ता आणिलेले सर्व खाऊन संपविण्याच्या आंत परत धन मिळवून याने परत यावे.

"Therefore that which has been brought should remain and so by means of this thoughtless understanding, I will again go to that state beyond this body. Truly, we should not consume that thoughtless Self and That should not mix with this power of manifestation." (Having realized the joy of understanding and seeing the misery caused by worldly attachment, he decides that complete understanding has to be acquired. Otherwise again there comes the `many' thoughts, concepts and concerns of this world. He realises that this samsar will never cease until one is completely absorbed in that thoughtless Reality; then just like the salt dissolved in the ocean, individuality can never return to that swarup)

ऐसी वासना सकळांची । अवघीं सोइरीं सुखाचीं । स्त्री अत्यंत प्रीतीची । तेहि सुखाचं लागली ॥ २६ ॥

अशी त्याच्या सर्व माणासांचीच इच्छा होती. सर्वजण फक्त आपलेच सुख बघणारे. बायको अत्यंत प्रिय पण तीही स्व-सुखालाच चटावलेली.

Now this vasana of the `all' (to forget everything and simply be) is the source of happiness within a restless mind, but then there is this great love for His woman (prakruti/knowledge) and that Reality then gets attached to this happiness (However thoughtless Reality is neither this happiness of `I am' nor is it the mix of pain and pleasure we get from this worldly existence).

विदेसी बहु दगदला । विश्रांती घ्यावया आला । स्वासहि नाहीं टाकिला । तों जाणें वोढवलें ॥ २७ ॥

हा पसदेशांत अति कष्टला म्हणुन विश्रांती घ्याावयास घरी येऊन श्र्वास घेतो न घेतो तोच परत सर्वांच्या इच्छे मुळे पैसा मिळवण्या परदेशी जाणे ओढवले.

Within this `state beyond' there are the `many' oppressions and affections of the mind and he had come to this state in order to escape these and get peace and rest. But he did not even have a chance to `throw off his breath'* when impulsively he had to leave (ie. the mind drew him back again into an objective world of forms and family etc.). *(siddharameshwar maharaj- beyond the breath is that Reality)

पुढें अपेक्षा जोसियांची । केली विवंचना मुहू्र्ताची । वृत्ति गुतली तयाची । जातां प्रशस्त न वटे ॥ २८ ॥

नंतर ज्योतिषांस विचारुन जाण्याचा मुहूर्त ठरविला. पण घरी जीव गुंतल्याने जाण्यासाठी याचे मन तयार होईना.

Ahead there was the need for that most praiseworthy thought, `I am', that he had made before. But the entanglements that this knowing vritti had found itself in were not easily given up (ie. mind does not want to die).

माया मात्रा सिद्ध केली । कांहीं सामग्री बांधली । लेंकुरें दृष्टीस पाहिलीं । मार्गस्त जाला ॥ २९ ॥

पण मग थोडें पैसे, औषधे घेतली. कांही सामान बरोबर घेतले. मुलांना एकवार पाहुन घेतले व परत परदेशी जाण्यास मार्गी लागला.

This vritti of maya had been accomplished when everything was gathered up and tied into this bundle of `I am'. But then as he set out on his journey to that `state beyond' he looked back at his children (again he forgets this `I am' and starts objectifying).

स्त्रियेस अवलोकिलें । वियोगें दुःख बहुत वाटलें । प्रारब्धसूत्र तुकलें । रुणानबंधाचें ॥ ३० ॥

बायकोला प्रेमाने बघितले. वियोगाचे दुःख फार वाटले. नियतीने बांधलेला कुतुंबाशी असलेला रुणानुबंध संपला असा विचार मनांत आला.

He (that purush) had looked towards His real woman/prakruti but then, this `all' felt the pain of separation (when He looks at prakruti then He is setting out on His journey to that `state beyond'. But when she is forgotten then, there is objectification and he sees a wife and children). Then this connection to his *prarabdha karma was cut, due to this debt he had incurred (having incurred the debt of `being a body' and having a wife and children etc., one hinders this prarabdha karma from spontaneously happening and coming to a natural end. prarabdha karma is the action that has already been set in motion as a result of previous actions and so it is therefore unavoidable. If one understands this `all'/prakruti then, only this prarabdha karma remains and there is the understanding, `Let whatever is going to happen, happen.' However as long as one takes oneself as a body and a doer then that prarabdha karma is not allowed to happen naturally and what is more, one goes on increasing one's stock of karma).

कंठ सद्गदित जाला । न संवरेच गहिवरला । लेंकुरा आणी पित्याला । तडातोडी जाली ॥ ३१ ॥

कंठ सद्गदित होऊन भरुन आला. त्याला आवरेना इतका गहिवरुन आला. बाप-मुलांची ताटातूट झाली.

Then he was choked with emotion and he could not keep his composure (`I am He'). He was overpowered with the feelings of love and the grief that comes from the separation of the children and their father.

जरी रुणानबंध असेल । तरी मागुती भेटी होईल । नाहीं तरी संगती पुरेल । येचि भेटीनें तुमची ॥ ३२ ॥

जर ऋणानुबंध असेल तर आपली परत भेट होईल नाहीतर हीच आपली शेवटची भेट हे समजला.

He thought, "If this debt ("I am a body") remains, then we will again meet. If not, my companionship with you will be finished when that thoughtless Self is met." (There will be no desire to return to the mind full of concepts)

ऐसें बोलोन स्वार होये। मागुता फिरफिरों पाहे । वियोगदुःख न साहे । परंतु कांहीं न चले ॥ ३३ ॥

एवढे बोलून तो घोड्यावर बसला. परंतु परत परत मागे वळून वियोगाचे दुःख सहन न झाल्याने पाहात होता. पण परत परदेशी जाण्यावाचून गत्यंतर नव्हते.

With this `speech' `I am' he sets out on his journey (ie. he forgot everything). Again, he turned around to look in their direction (maharaj- the Master takes you to the west side, where knowledge sets). If the pain of separation cannot be endured, then this `all' cannot set out on its journey (maharaj- conviction is required).

आपुला गांव राहिला मागें । चित्त भ्रमलें संसारउद्वेगें । दुःखवला प्रपंचसंगें । अभिमानास्तव ॥ ३४ ॥

आता प्रवास सुरु झाल्यावर आपले गांव मागे राहिले. संसाराच्या कटकटीमुळें उद्वेग झाला. मीपणानें प्रपंचाची संगत केल्याने तो अत्यंत दुःखी झाला.

Previously he had stayed in his own village (ie. His Self) but then his mind became confused and anxious about this worldly life. He realised that he has been made to suffer so much due to his attachment to this worldly life and pride.

ते समईं माता आठवली । म्हणे धन्य धन्य ते माउली । मजकारणें बहुत कष्टली । परी मी नेणेंचि मूर्ख ॥ ३५ ॥

त्यावेळी त्याला आईची आठवण झाली. म्हणु लागला की धन्य धन्य ती माझी आई की जीने माझ्यासाठी किती खस्ता खालल्या. पण मी त्याकडे लक्ष दिले नाही.

Then, he remembered his mother (mula maya, `I am') and said, "How truly blessed is this mother. But because of that "mine", this `all' has been troubled so much. This `I' has been an unknowing fool."

आजी जरी ते असती । तरी मजला कदा न विशंभती । वियोग होतां आक्रंदती । ते पोटागि वेगळीच ॥ ३६ ॥

आज जर ती असती तर तिने मला परदेशी जाऊं दिले नसते. वियोग झाल्यावर इतर मोठ्याने रडतात खरे पण वियोगामुळे अंतःकरणापासून रडणारी आई काहीं वेगळीच.

"And if that Reality was here today then, there would be no need for me to seek rest. It is due to my separation from that Supreme Self that there is this roaming around and confusion; but that Self has no such concerns and yearnings."

पुत्र वैभवहीन भिकारी । माता तैसाचि अंगिकारी । दगदला देखोनि अंतरीं । त्याच्या दुःखें दुःखवे ॥ ३७ ॥

मुलगा वैभवहीन दरिद्री असला तरी आई त्याचा तसाच स्वीकार करते. त्याच्या कष्टाने-दुः खाने ती दुःखी होते.

"Even if a son is a beggar (ie. "Who can make me happy"), void of this grandeur of the `all', still his mother accepts him just as he is. However at that time when this understanding of the `all' has become the tiredness and vexation of being a gross body then, that atma purush is made to suffer so much pain."

प्रपंव विचारें पाहातां । हें सकळ जोडे न जोडे माता । हें शरीर जयेकरितां । निर्माण जालें ॥ ३८ ॥

प्रपंचाचा विचार केला तर असें दिसते की प्रपंचात इतर सर्व कांही मिळेल पण या शरीराला जिनें जन्म दिला ती आई मात्र मिळणार नाही.

"But when this worldly existence is understood through careful examination then, that thoughtless swarup is met and even this `all', our mother called maya, is not met. It is on account of her that, that Supreme Self becomes this `all' body."

लांव तरी ते माया । काय कराविया सहश्र जायाा । परी भुलोन गेलों वायां । मकरध्वजाचेनि ॥ ३९ ॥

आई जरी डाकिणी असली तरी मुलावर तिचे अत्यंत प्रेम राहाते. हजार बायका केल्या तरी हें प्रेम त्यांच्याकडून मिळणार नाही. पण कामवासनेने मी अगदी वेड्यासारखा वागलो.

"So even though this mula maya is a terrible witch still, when that Reality meets her, what would It want with a thousand wives? But forgetting mula maya that Reality loses Itself in empty worldly loves and infatuations."

या येका कामाकारणें । जिवलगांसि द्वंद्व घेणें । सखीं तींच पिसुणें । ऐसी वाटतीं ॥ ४० ॥

या एका कामवासनेपायी मी जिवलगांशी भांडलो, माझे जिवलग मित्र मला लबाड वाटूं लागले.

"Due to these `many' desires, this `I am' disregards it's most beloved purush. And due to desires, that Self who is most generous and caring appears to be wicked and back-biting (ie. the ways of this world)."

म्हणौन धन्य धन्य ते प्रपंची जन । जे मायेबापाचें भजन । करिती न करिती मन । निष्ठुर जिवलगांसीं ॥ ४१ ॥

म्हणून जीं प्रपंचात असलेली माणसें आई-वडिलांशी प्रेमाने वागतात ती धन्य होत. आपल्या जिवलगांच्या बाबतींत ती निष्ठुरपणे वागत नाहीत.

"Therefore blessed are those in this worldly life, who make their bhajan to this mother/prakruti and father/purush and are not cruel and do not speak foul mouthed of their most beloved." (This silent `speech', `I am He' is their bhajan. It is and not the cruel and empty words of a restless mind)

संगती स्त्रीबाळकाची । आहे साठी जन्माची । परी मायबापें कैंची । मिळतील पुढें ॥ ४२ ॥

बायको-मुले यांचा सहवास आपल्याला जन्मभर लाभतो. पण आई-वडिल थोडे दिवस असतात. त्यांचा सहवास जन्मभर कसा पुरेल?

"My company with this wife and children is for this birth only and if I keep their company then, how will I ever meet with my true mother/mula maya and father/pu- rush?" (We love others for our own sake, not for their sake. The love we project upon others is truly love for ourself, a mere extension of `myness'. But as long as we give our affections to this ever changing world, we will never meet our true mother and father and we can never meet our Self)

ऐसें पूर्वीं होतें ऐकिलें । परि ते समंई नाहीं कळलें । मन हे बुडोन गेलें । रतिसुखाचा डोहीं ॥ ४३ ॥

या गोष्टी मी पूर्वी ऐकल्या होत्या. परंतु तारुण्याच्या मस्तीने व कामवासनेच्या अधीन असल्याने तेव्हां कळले नाही.

Previous there had been this listening to `I am'. However, at that time, Reality had not been understood and then the mind covered over that thoughtless Self and drowned it in the river of passionate desire.

हे सखीं वाटती परी पिसुणें । मिळालीं वैभवाकारणें । रितें जातां लाजिरवाणें । अत्यंत वाटे ॥ ४४ ॥

ज्यांना मी सखे मानले ते लबाड होते. पैश्याच्या लोभाने ते माझ्यापाशी जमा झाले होते. पण पैशाशिवाय रिकाम्या हाती जाणे लाजिरवाणे वाटते.

Then on account of this grandeur of the `I am', that Self that is so open, appears as these slanderous thoughts of a mundane existence. For when this zero of `I am' goes away then, there is a great swelling of arrogance (When nothing is there then, `I' is there ie. knowledge. This grandeur of knowledge can take you to Reality or it can lead you to the indignity of being a body again).

आतां भलतैसें करावें । परि द्रव्य मेळऊन न्यावें । रितें जातां स्वभावें । दुःख आहे ॥ ४५ ॥

आतां काय वाटेल तें करुन पैका मिळवून नेला पाहिजे. रिकाम्या हाती जाणे म्हणजे स्वाभाविकच दुःख ओढवून घेणे आहे.

"Now with this `I am' understanding, whatever has to be done, that should be done, but this wealth of the `many' (manifestation of names and forms) should be met with equanimity (let whatever has to come, come and whatever has to go, let it go without attraction or aversion). For if this *zero of `I am' gets destroyed then, there will be the pains of body consciousness." *(maharaj- when nothing is there, everything is there...He is there)

ऐसी वेवर्धना करी । दुःख वाटलें अंतरीं । चिंतेचिये माहापुरीं । बुडोन गेला ॥ ४६ ॥

असे विचार त्याच्या मनांत येऊ लागले. तो दुःखी होऊन चिंतातुर झाला.

In this way, he continued to think but in this inner space of `I am', sorrow was felt and due to this thought, he was sweep away in this great flood of maya.

ऐसा हा देह आपुला । असतांच पराधेन केला । ईश्र्वरीं कानकोंडा जाला । कुटुंबकबाडी ॥ ४७ ॥

हा देह आपल्या मालकीचा असूनही दुसर्‍ाच्या गुलामींत घालविला. ईश्र्वरासाठी त्याल झिजविला नाही. कुटुंबासाठी कष्ट करण्यासाठीच याचा वापर केला.

That thoughtless swarup had become a body and then his existence was dependent upon being this body (caught in this flood of maya, one feels "I can only exist if I have a body"). Ignoring shiva, he became the upholder and provider of a family (he accepted the role of a jiva with his samsar and wife and children but lost his own Self/shiva).

या येका कामासाठीं । जन्म गेला आटाटी । वय वेचल्यां सेवटीं । येकलेंचि जावें ॥ ४८ ॥

या एका कामवासनेसाठी जन्मभर आटापिटा केला. आणि आयुष्य संपल्यावर मात्र एकट्यालाच जावे लागणर.

"On account of these desires, this `I am' and that One thoughtless swarup, spends a whole life in useless efforts and then in the end, when this life is spent, you go away alone." (The whole life is spent caring for others and caring for what others will say, but in the end, no-one will go with you, even if they could)

ऐसा मनीं प्रस्तावला । क्षण येक उदास जाला । सवेंचि प्राणी झळंबला । मायाजाळें ॥ ४९ ॥

अशा प्रकारे पश्र्चातापाने तो मनांत उदास झाला. परंतु परत तो मायेच्या प्रेमाच्या जाळ्यांत सापडला.

Due to such thinking there arose repentance in his mind and this brought the dispassion of this `moment' (`I am'). But then, once again, due to this net of maya, his mind overflowed with `many' thoughts.

कन्यापुत्रें आठवलीं । मनीहूनि क्षिती वाटली । म्हणे लेंकुरें अंतरलीं । माझी मज ॥ ५० ॥

मुलामलींची आठवण झाली. मनांत वाईट वाटले. माझी मुले मला अंतरली असे तो म्हणाला.

He remembered his daughters and sons and in his mind there arose concern for them. He said, "My children have been separated from me" (His children are only his cherished thoughts).

मागील दुःख आठवलें । जें जें होतें प्राप्त जालें । मग रुदन आरंभिलें । दीर्घ स्वरें ॥ ५१ ॥

जे दुःख पूर्वी भोगले होते ते आठवले व मग तो मोठ्याने रडू लागला.

Then his previous sufferings were remembered and so mula maya became a mind full of suffering and this `I am' started crying loudly ("I am a body").

आरण्यरुदन करितां । कोणी नाहीं बुझाविता । मग होये विचारिता । आपुले मनीं ॥ ५२ ॥

आरण्यांत कोणी रडू लागला तरी त्यास शांत करणारा तेथे कोणी भेटत नाही. म्हणून त्याने आपल्या मनाशीच विचार केल.

But when there is such lonely crying, no-one can understand this `I am'. Afterwards in his mind, he started to think clearly and said.

आतां कासया रडावें । प्राप्त होतें तें भोगावें । ऐसें बोलोनियां जीवें । धारिष्ट केलें ॥ ५३ ॥

आता कशाकरितां रडावें. जे आपल्या वाट्यास आहे ते भोगावे. असे म्हणून त्याने स्वतःस धीर दिला.

"Now, why should I cry? I should endure whatever has to happen." And with this `speech' he gained fortitude and courage in his heart (ie. let whatever is going to happen, happen, without my rejection or attachment).

ऐसा दुःखे दगदला । मग विदेशाप्रती गेला । पुढें प्रसंग वर्तला । तो सावध ऐका ॥ ५४ ॥

असा दुःखाने दमलेला-थकलेला, तो परत परदेशी गेला. पुढे काय झाले ते सावधपणे ऐका.

Due to his suffering, there was disgust for this worldly existence and he went to that `state beyond' the body. Afterwards, that atma remained with this `all' connection. Now listen carefully. .